The Open Road

Driving, traffic, road trips, and more

{First a quick note. We are so grateful to our subscribers, especially knowing how many other options there are for regular reading. If you enjoy Hi Zan, Hi Pa, we’d love it if you’d mention it to others in your circle of acquaintance. We’d love it, too, if some of our many free subscribers would make the leap to paid. It amounts to $4.17 per month, and we try hard to give you your money’s worth. Grazie mille! Zan and Pa}

Hi Zan, Hi Pa

Volume #44

July 10th, 2025

HI, ZAN: In our last newsletter you mentioned that you drive with particular care. I think you are in a very small and shrinking group. My God, some of the stuff I encounter—and dodge—almost every time I get behind the wheel! Want to talk about the joys and challenges of driving?

HI, PA: Ooo, yes! First of all, I want to thank you for teaching me how to drive. I decided to skip Driver’s Ed and attend the driving school of Mom and Dad instead, and you were very patient with me…for the most part.

PA: Nah, I wasn’t very good in that role, I’m sorry. You turned into a good driver, though, which is the main thing. You had a couple of fender benders in the early going, but so did I way back when. It’s really an amazing thing to be maneuvering a two-ton hunk of machinery around with just a circular wheel and a couple of pedals. It’s surprising so many people manage it fairly well.

ZAN: I’m glad you think I turned into a good driver, especially after it took three tries at the driving exam for me to get my license… (Which, in my defense, I blame on the fact that I didn’t go to driver’s ed and didn’t know exactly what they were looking for in the exam.)

PA: That was a little painful and maybe as much a commentary on my teaching as your driving. But I knew you’d get there. I probably should have failed my own test. The State Trooper didn’t like me from the first minute and when he asked me to give the hand signals out the window for left and right turns, I forgot right turn and just let my arm hang there and I guess he took that to mean I was signaling a right turn and he passed me! Not my finest hour. I still don’t know what the right turn signal is. Going to look it up now.

The correct signal is exactly the opposite of what I did.

How much do you think being a good driver has to do with awareness? And do you think people who have a healthy level of awareness outside the vehicle, always make good drivers? Or are the two separate?

ZAN: Awareness is key for sure. Distracted driving is very dangerous—I’ve been in the car with friends who are mentally scattered and it’s nerve-racking to be a passenger! On the flip side, I’ve found myself making some very important driving decisions that helped me avoid accidents when driving right after meditating. Just as I can observe my thoughts and feelings come into my mind with greater clarity after meditation, I seem to be better able to anticipate issues on the road in a state of mindfulness.

There are other qualities I think are important to being a good driver. Chief among them is a healthy dose of respect for what a dangerous activity it is. It’s dangerous to be an anxious driver, but I do think that some acknowledgment of the risks of being on the roads makes you more careful. Or do you think it’s possible to be careful without fear/respect?

PA: It’s a balancing act for sure. After being violently rear-ended a couple of years ago by a young woman who was not paying attention, I find myself having much less trust these days that other drivers are going to do the right thing. If you’re too hesitant, though, you invite people to cut in front of you. If you’re too slow on the highway, you can cause as much trouble as if you’re going too fast. So it’s a continual balancing act between caution and confidence. I definitely pause for a second or two now before going forward on a green light.

Can you guess the way in which I think driving a car is like playing golf?

ZAN: That it brings out people’s true character perhaps?

PA: Yes! Some people drive as if they are the only person on the road (and some golfers play as if they are the only person on the course). But some drivers (golfers, too) are aware of others, go by the rules, and are considerate about letting people into traffic (or letting faster groups play through). When three lanes shrink down to two and then one on the Interstate, you see the sign a mile in advance and some people get into the lane that will be going through. Others drive as far forward as they can in the to-be-closed lanes, then nose their way into the line. A pet peeve of mine.

ZAN: Even people who modify their cars to make a lot of noise or weave through traffic at neck-breaking speeds on the highway are telling you something about their character—it makes me think of the Maya Angelou quote: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

PA: I came within a few feet of being killed today in a stretch of the two-lane country highway that leads home from the place where I play golf. There was construction, so the eastbound lane was closed and the breakdown lane on the opposite side was being used for westbound traffic. Double yellow line between. A big pickup coming the other way suddenly veered across those yellow lines and I had to jerk the wheel rightward just on reflex and he missed me by a couple of feet.

ZAN: Jeez, Pa!

PA: My saying in those situations—and there have been many—is “almost doesn’t count.” Makes me feel better and forget quicker.

You’ve driven in other countries, yes? Did you notice any big differences?